I've been driving for longer than many of you have been alive. I learned how to drive in a stick, and my last two vehicles were manual trans as well - though for a more practical reason as they were SUVs that were actually driven off-road more than once a decade.
I rarely use my autostick because I learned pretty quickly how to control an automatic transmission using mostly just throttle position to keep it in the gear I wanted. I had an '88 Grand Am SE (bought it new and no, it wasn't my first car) and a friend that accused me of wishing it were a stick the way I drove it. Again, it was all about using throttle pressure and listening to the engine and trans. When accelerating, gently increasing the accelerator pedal position will delay the shift, while suddenly letting up a little on the pedal then returning the pressure will cause it to shift to the next gear - try it some time! Same thing for selective downshifting.
It's more fun to drive and I feel like I just have more control over the car. I also feel like I can reduce all of the needless shifting that the automatic mode does if you get off or on gas a little or are rolling up to a stop and then keep going, etc.
While you can indeed force the car to stay in the gear you select (mostly) and thus exert more control over it, I wouldn't agree with calling the shifting "needless". The car will adapt the gear and engine speed to the load it is presented (climbing a hill, pulling weight, whatever) and the amount of throttle action you request (since it is drive-by-wire).
One last thing I'm sort of wondering about is down shifting when coming to a complete stop. There are a lot of roads around here with speed limit 45 and lots of traffic lights. Should I down shift through each and every gear all the way down to 1st?
If you are reducing your speed in manumatic mode, to maintain the most control over the car you should shift down through the gears. If you don't do it, the transmission/ECM will shift into 1st when you stop.
Sometimes it feels a little rough from engine resistance, even if I keep the down shifting within 15mph increments (ie 0-15 for 1st, 15-30 for 2nd, 30-45 for 3rd, and 45+ for 4th). Sometimes it feels smoother if I down shift from 4th when it gets to 30 or 40 then 3rd at about 25, 2nd at about 15 then 1st at less than 10. Otherwise it seems like there's a little engine resistance when shifting into the next lower gear.
Yes, you are using the engine as a brake, known as compression braking, to help slow down the car. In the same vein, you would choose a lower gear when descending an incline instead of riding the brakes all the way down (and causing more wear and possible loss of the brakes). Whenever I am driving in a 'spirited fashion' and see an officer of the law nearby, I downshift one or maybe even two gears to slow the car down in a hurry without standing on the brakes. Using your brakes makes you stand out more in these situations, believe it or not.
Ultimately, if I'm stopping at a light should I cycle through each gear all the way down (which seems like a hassle sometimes) or should I just come to the stop and let the car down shift itself or should I try to shift the gears sort of late like I described above to avoid the engine resistance or what? What do you guys do?
Don't worry about "engine resistance" as again it helps slow you down. But if you're feeling too lazy/whatever, slap it into automatic when braking and back into manumatic for acceleration and cruising.
As far as shift points, keeping the engine speed (RPMs) as low as possible for upshifts will help you with better economy, providing you don't shift too early. Engine lugging on acceleration can use more fuel. For downshifting, it's not as much of a concern.
Shifting down to a complete stop is the only thing that requires experience.
No, upshifting requires experience as well.
For gas mileage reasons, any speed over 40 (while cruising) should be in 4th gear. To come to a stop, shift down to 3rd gear at 20 mph, 2nd gear at 10 mph, and 1st at 5 mph. Experiment with it, but that is the general shifting area.
I go by engine RPMs, as shift speeds will vary depending on the transmission and axle (or transaxle for front-drive) ratios and tire size in the car. Try to upshift before 2500 RPM, preferably around 2000. Downshifting, not so critical.
You state that it's a hassle to shift all the way down for stopping for a red light, but that is what the automatic does and I'm sure thats what manuals do too.
When driving a manual, you can skip gears on both upshifting and downshifting. You could also choose to coast along in neutral while braking, though that is illegal in some states. Skipping gears in a manumatic is impossible, though you can shift through them very rapidly, and shifting in an out of neutral on the manumatic can cause extra wear on the transmission and torque converter.
There are only a couple of times I get much use out of the manual position on my G6. One is when descending a couple of hills nearby - I have to shift to 2 to hold the speed at 50 because the stupid programming in the ECU keeps the throttle open too far. Makes me wish for a cable-actuated throttle. The other occasion is when I am in heavier traffic and need to accelerate moderately but don't want the car to downshift. Usually it happens around 45-50 and the downshift goes two gears, much more than I want in that situation. It's an inconsistency in the ECM/TCM programming from my point of view.
~ MattInSoCal