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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-03-2009, 05:41 AM Thread Starter
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Suggestions?

I know it will be minor to most but I might put together a HOW TO change oil since I'm changing oil this weekend.
Anyone else care to write up some how to's? We could work as a team to get some nice ones posted.




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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-03-2009, 05:54 AM
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Oil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00
================================================== ========
Oil Change instructions for Men:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.

2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8 ) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.

18 ) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to Kragen to recycle.

19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.

21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24) Remember drain plug from step 11.

25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.

27) Drink beer.

28 ) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.

29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

30) Drink beer.

31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.

32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.

33) Begin cussing fit.

34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

36) Beer.

37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

38 ) Beer.

39) Beer.

40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

41) Beer.

42) Lower car from jack stands.

43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.

44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.

45) Beer.

46) Test drive car.

47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

48 ) Car gets impounded.

49) Call loving wife, make bail.

50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $40.00
Total - - $4,165.00

But you know the job was done right!

MODS:
Crab Intakes CAB, MPD Ram Air hood, Custom exhaust,
WAMS High Performance Tune and a whole lot more....

My Progession
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-03-2009, 11:26 AM
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Lol, that was creative.
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 11:56 PM
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Lol...sounds like some friends of mine.
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-05-2009, 09:42 PM
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LMFAO!!!! Well done! Honestly i couldnt stop laughing! That was a masterpiece! I do my own oil changes and this just made my day!


Current Mods:
07 G6 GT White, 84K, 35% Tint, 8k HID Lows/Fogs, Tinted Tails, DRL Delete, DexCool Delete (is that a mod?) Eibach Springs, EBC Brakes, Orange Calipers, De-Badged, Front Tower Strut Bar, Painted Engine/Battery Covers, CRABS Opt# 3, "Tiger CRAB Ram Air", Custom Catback stepped up to 2.5" from 2.25" tubing with purforated rez and free flow muffler.

Coming Soon:
18" rollers, LED red interior lighting, LED tails, Complete Audio System Renovation as I have blown it up, Sedan HH spoiler, Custom Seatcovers, dash cover and floor mats with the G6 Embroidery, Painted body color mirrors, wiper arms, both front grills, side skirts and rear facia all body color painted.
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-06-2009, 11:24 AM
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Lampoon ~ Riotous... too funny!!

Patrick [aka: The Oracle]
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-06-2009, 08:51 PM
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:rofl:

I'm trying to explain to my kids what's so funny - they don't get it...
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-06-2009, 11:04 PM
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That was the best thing I have ever read! Nice Pooners!

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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-07-2009, 10:35 PM
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Why doesnt the threads in this forum show up on the "Active Topics" list???

Current Mods:
07 G6 GT White, 84K, 35% Tint, 8k HID Lows/Fogs, Tinted Tails, DRL Delete, DexCool Delete (is that a mod?) Eibach Springs, EBC Brakes, Orange Calipers, De-Badged, Front Tower Strut Bar, Painted Engine/Battery Covers, CRABS Opt# 3, "Tiger CRAB Ram Air", Custom Catback stepped up to 2.5" from 2.25" tubing with purforated rez and free flow muffler.

Coming Soon:
18" rollers, LED red interior lighting, LED tails, Complete Audio System Renovation as I have blown it up, Sedan HH spoiler, Custom Seatcovers, dash cover and floor mats with the G6 Embroidery, Painted body color mirrors, wiper arms, both front grills, side skirts and rear facia all body color painted.
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-09-2009, 09:26 AM
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haha love that one!

.~*Crazy J*~.

Appearance: Debadged, Black Overlays, LLumar 35% Windshield The Rest Are 15%, LED RL/BL, Fogs Lows and Highs are 8000K HIDS, G6 Vinyl Door Jam G6 Logo Covers, Custom Engine Bay Painting, Black Recessed Upper Grill, Red Caliper Painting, Tinted Tail Lights, Flexline Interior Lighting W/Remote.

Performance: Magnaflow Catback Exhaust, K&N CAI, Custom Strut Tower Bar.

System: Complete Kicker System (Tweeters, 6x9's, 6 1/2's, 2-12" CVX Subs, 1000 Watt Kicker Sub Amp, 350 Watt Kicker Internal Speakers Amp), JVC KW-AVX830.

Security: 5900 Series Viper Car Alarm, Custom Painted Remote
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-09-2009, 09:31 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamestg6gt07 View Post
Why doesnt the threads in this forum show up on the "Active Topics" list???
donno. ?? I always go to the "Quick Links" for the newest threads.




Mike
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-11-2009, 12:31 PM
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I can tell everyone that if you want to install a Fumoto oil drain valve the correct model is the F-107 for the 3.9L oil pan. M12 (12mm) - 1.72 Thread
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-14-2009, 02:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geewhiz View Post
donno. ?? I always go to the "Quick Links" for the newest threads.
Same here but it doesnt show up after a reply. Like now i'll click submit reply, click on active topics and it wont be there. hmm

Current Mods:
07 G6 GT White, 84K, 35% Tint, 8k HID Lows/Fogs, Tinted Tails, DRL Delete, DexCool Delete (is that a mod?) Eibach Springs, EBC Brakes, Orange Calipers, De-Badged, Front Tower Strut Bar, Painted Engine/Battery Covers, CRABS Opt# 3, "Tiger CRAB Ram Air", Custom Catback stepped up to 2.5" from 2.25" tubing with purforated rez and free flow muffler.

Coming Soon:
18" rollers, LED red interior lighting, LED tails, Complete Audio System Renovation as I have blown it up, Sedan HH spoiler, Custom Seatcovers, dash cover and floor mats with the G6 Embroidery, Painted body color mirrors, wiper arms, both front grills, side skirts and rear facia all body color painted.
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 06:07 AM Thread Starter
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I'll try next.




Mike
MODS;
None, if I want a faster car I'll buy one.
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 09-15-2009, 07:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geewhiz View Post
I'll try next.
lol, nope! Maybe its not a popular enough forum yet.

Current Mods:
07 G6 GT White, 84K, 35% Tint, 8k HID Lows/Fogs, Tinted Tails, DRL Delete, DexCool Delete (is that a mod?) Eibach Springs, EBC Brakes, Orange Calipers, De-Badged, Front Tower Strut Bar, Painted Engine/Battery Covers, CRABS Opt# 3, "Tiger CRAB Ram Air", Custom Catback stepped up to 2.5" from 2.25" tubing with purforated rez and free flow muffler.

Coming Soon:
18" rollers, LED red interior lighting, LED tails, Complete Audio System Renovation as I have blown it up, Sedan HH spoiler, Custom Seatcovers, dash cover and floor mats with the G6 Embroidery, Painted body color mirrors, wiper arms, both front grills, side skirts and rear facia all body color painted.
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