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Hopefully not a repost:

UC-Berkley has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium." Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. The symbol for Bushcronium is "W".

Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons -- but twice as many morons.
 

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yeah WTF.....W is Tungsten. i'm guessing that's the funny part...

But whoever's at UC-Berkley needs to go back to grade school and re-learn the table.

First they change the name for Brontosaurus (only learned that a year ago even though it was changed long time ago), then kick Pluto outta the club, now they wanna confuse the adults some more....
 

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took me until reading 'peons' to catch onto something... i was like 'whats a moron? apparently i shouldnt have passed college chemistry...'
 

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The latest element discovered will react negatively with money and capitalism and attempt to destroy them. It seeks to make elements that reflect the lighter end of the color spectrum more burdened and is quite hollow in terms of follow-through on the element's promised bounties.

Be aware that persons who have been in direct contact with this element will have purple lips, constantly say "uh", and will retain communist-like tendencies. The working name is Husseinium.

WARNING--- Do not directly argue with or oppose this element or you will be labeled racist. You will then be accosted by particles of the element drawn to Husseinium known as Liberalanium (also known as Sheeple). Although these elements are worthless and harmless individually, because they lack purpose and are supported by other hardworking elements they have time to annoy other elements with rhetoric and catchy slogans.
 

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Careful the gestapo might haul you away from insulting the supreme leader.
 
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