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Maybe we're better off than we think and we just don't understand it... or, maybe not!


Back during the days of the American Frontier, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food. No other humans had been seen for days, and then the pioneers saw an Old Norwegian sitting beneath a tree. "Is there some place ahead where we can get food?"

"Vell, I tink so," the old man said, tventy miles down da trail issa small zettlement vith a general store, but I vouldn't go up dat hill und down de udder side to get dere, somevun tole me you'd run into a big bacon tree."

"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon train leader. "Yah, un bacon tree. Vould I lie? Trust me. Go around, doan go dat vay!"

The leader went back and teld his people what the Norwegian said. "So why did he say not to go by the most direct route?" a person asked. So he told them about the Bacon Tree.

Other pioneers said, "Oh, you know those Norwegian people - they aren't too bright to begin with, and might lie just for a joke"

So the wagon train went up the hill and down the other side. Suddenly, Indians attack them from everywhere and quickly massacred all except the wagon train leader who managed to escape and get back to the old Norwegian.

Near dead, the man shouted, "You fool! We went to our deaths to find the bacon tree that you spoke of! We looked, but there was no bacon tree, just hundreds of Indians who killed everyone but me."

The old Norwegian man held up his hand and says, "Oof-da, vait a minute." He quickly picked up an English - Norwegian dictionary and began thumbing through it. "Oof-da, I made zuch ah big mishtake! It vuzn't a bacon tree, it vuz a ham bush!!" :p
 

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The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and
room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in
the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-servi ce."
RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn
toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we
bodder?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.
Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder
on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G: "You're very welcome."
 
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